Saturday, May 17, 2008

hey jude

hey jude! this cute lil kid's talking to you. listen this time..haha

the kid's really cute, isn't he?=]

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

tears vs rain

may 12, 2008. Monday. a not-so-good day for me. i just heard something that's actually not that bad but enough to make me explode. it made me think:"that's it! i had enough of everything already. enough of my ever miserable life."

i have too many problems; family, brain, money, and more on family.. i felt all alone. nobody cared to asked if i'm okay. i don't have anyone to talk to. i have problems on controlling my tears, you know. so i hid in a dark room where i can let it all out. i don't want anyone to see me. they'll never understand me..

so there i was. still trying to stop my freagin' tears. i'm a failure. it was so hard coz i have to make no sound.. if people in the Oscar's could only see me that very moment, boy i could be nominated as a drama queen!

minutes passed but i'm still crying. damn.. it suddenly rained. it rained hard. i could see the raindrops outside the window. then tracing where it came from, i ended up looking at the sky. heaven. i thought of God. why? why did He gave me this life?! why does He want me to be miserable?!

i looked back at the rain drops. then i saw my tear drops on the floor. it almost evaporated. but the rain drops didn't. it made up a flood. then i've realized one thing that struck me.
my tears are nothing in the rain. i thought of other street children who only wished to eat three times a day but they can't. and still they don't lose hope. they still portray happy faces. and here i am. i can eat whenever i want to. i go to school. i stay in a comfortable house but here i am. crying my soul out. blaming God for everyting. i've realized that there's a lot more problems in this world worse than mine. if we sum it all up, my problems could be invisible..

God made it rain for me to realize that my tears are nothing compared to it. that my problems are nothing compared to others'. i learned to count my blessings. and at the end of the day, i realized that i'm lucky. no. more than that, i'm blessed. no more tears

Saturday, May 10, 2008

happy mother's day mom..

happy mom's day to the one who brought me out to this world. thanks a lot =]

hope you're very happy and contented with your life now.where ever you are..

in case you'd like to know how my life's goes right now(just in case), well i;m fine. fine as hell. haha! kidding. i'm a-ok. thanks to my dad and my loving aunt(dad's sister). they gave their best to raise me as i am today. not that perfect but at least i've survived. thank God i'm alive!haha.

oh, i think you want to know how your ex-favorit son's going. he's fine. i think so. he's still actually waiting for you. pathetic. tsk2. he's wasted. and oh, you're already a grandmom. hahaha

unlike what everyone believes, i don't hold a grudge on you. it'll just ruin my being. i don't wanna be miserable just beacause you left us. don't worry. i'm not mad at you.. anyway, what you've done?it contributed to my personality right now. i lack self confidence. i envy complete family.haha. joke. of course it also did good to me. i learned how to stand on my own. i learned to appreciate small things, other moms, and many other stuff.

but hey, i wouldn't mind if you provide for my needs right now. it's not too late.hahaha!! after all, i badly need financial assistance right now. i'm going ti college! at last. with out your help though. but you can make it up.hahaha!..

before i forget to ask, how are you doing there? has life been good to you after leaving your problems behind? i hope it did. i hope you're in a very comfortable situation now. you're getting old. do i have other siblings already?haha. better save something for yourself. take good care of yourself,okay? kuya and dad still haven't moved on. they still care and love you. so they'll be so sad if something bad happens to you. of course i do too. i love you. those nine months you sacrificed for me won't go to nothing.. thank you.

again, happy mom's day mother. on behalf of our broken family, we love you. take care. God bless you..=]

to everyone who has their mom with them, be you're lucky. be thankful..
to every mom out there, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. you're one big hero.

God Bless everyone..

Thursday, May 8, 2008

bobits

bobits -noun.. slang word describing a dull person. in other words, bobo.

why o why.haha. no matter how hard i try to change, i still come back to being the sensitive girl i used to be.. how can i escape? i need help. help!! woe is me.. hahaha. emo ba ko? hindi noh. epal kamo.haha

kanina kasi. nasa diliman na naman kami. as usual. badminton. jog. pero kanina, may 3rd person. dumating kasi yung dati kong bestfriend nung 7 kaya kanina, tinext ko siyang magpakita naman samin. so tatlo na kami.. nagso so-ep siya. DOST scholar. gumradweyt na salutatorian. math wizard. anu pa ba? basta matalino. yung so-ep daw parang summer class ng mga dost scholar..kanina nag-umpisa classes nila.sa diliman. tas unlike me, nakapasa siya sa upcat. bs math sa UPD.

yun namang isa, high school valedictorian. same school. one year ahead siya sa'min. bale magsesecond year na siya sa UPM.

o diba. antatalino ng mga kasama ko. pero ako? i could only spell pariah. anu pa?..uhmm. intimidation..daha..isang hamak na ordinaryong studyante. naturingan ngang special science class student di umano. wala namang nalalaman. tamad mag-aral. laging late.. blabla.. hehe

naisip ko nga bigla 'yon kanina bago kami magkita-kita. Diyos ko, puro taga UP ata 'tong mga kasama ko. self pity na naman aabutin ko. hay nako. ayun. kinalimutan ko na lang..

chika minute. inusisa ng taga UPM kong kaibigan yung taga UPD kung bakit siya nagsasummer class. sumagot yung isa. di masyadong nagkaintindihan. tapos sabi niya na lang, para tumalino raw siya. tapos ako naman 'tong epal. sabi ko para kasi sa mga bagsak yung summer classes(they know me. alam nilang joke lang 'yon. para lang di ako masyadong ma-sad.alam naman naming lahat na 'di totoo yon eh.).. tapos tawanan. eh dalawa silang nagsasummer classes. sabo ko "tignan niyo 'ko, di nagsasummer classes..haha!" hudyat na yon ng pagiging sarcastic ko. at alam nila 'yon.

nagkaroon pa ng mga dialogue..
taga UPD: CS rin ba 'tong Palma hall?(tanong niya sa'kin)

ako:aba malay ko.hahaha!yan tanungin mo(pointing don sa tga UPM habang pinupulot yung shuttle cock)

tinanong niya nga..

taga UPM:ewan.taga UPM ako. hindi dito.haha! try mong tanungin si vanessa(ako).HAHAHA!!

bla.bla.bla...

tas biglang nashift yung topic sa school..

taga UPD:saan ka mag-eenrol van?

ako:ewan di na lang siguro ako mag-aaral(medyo hurt na)..huhuhu(kunwaring pabirong tono)

taga UPM:HAHAHA!! nagustuhan mo ba dito sa diliman?(tanong niya bigla sa tga UPD)

sa'kin siya nakaharap. na parang natatawa. nang-aasar. alam niya kasi na dream school ko 'yon.

may sinabi pa siya na "oo. mayabang kami. taga UP kami e.. hahaha! ikaw van?haha"..

siguro nga inaasar niya lang ako(kung saan nagtagumpay siya). siguro nagbibiro lang siya. pero siyempre badtrip ako. nasaktan ako don. nasa state of depression pa nga ako eh.. di ko lang pinapahalata. tumawa na lang ako kasi di ko na alam sasabihin at gagawin. nakisakay na lang ako sa pang-aasar nila.

anyway.hindi ko sila masisisi. talaga namang bobo ako eh. hindi na nila kailangan ng emphasis. masakit. well.truth hurts nga naman.

yun.. hindi pa rin nag-iiba adbans birthday at xmas wish ko.. sana talaga tumalino na 'ko!!

anung vitamins kaya iinumin ko?any suggetions?hahaha

Saturday, May 3, 2008

anak ng tipaklong.

well. tinamad na ata akong ipagpatuloy yung post ko kgbi. eto.depress-depressan nanaman.. hahay. bakit ba kasi ganito. alam ko marami pang schools diyan. pero.. basta! kung ikaw ba di nakapasa, siyempre naman malulungkot ka rin noh. eh panaka-naka lang naman tong depression na to kung dumalaw sa'kin kaya bumubuhos talaga pag nagkataon.

wala na sana eh.(medyo lang.haha). kaso lagi akong nasa diliman. kaya nakakadepress lalo..(hahaha!kawawa o).. eh kanina, nalaman ko cut-offs para sa reconsiderations. ang pinakamababa LB... 2.800 dw.. pambihira naman, kahit man lang sa cut-off for reconsideration na pinakamababa, di ako nakaabot. feeling ko napaka bobo ko na. bobits pa kung sa pinsan ko.haha!..eh nagkataon pang 2.801 ang UPG ko. pambihirang tipaklong naman oh! 0.001 na lang sana magkakaroon na 'ko kahit a glimpse of hope na lang na magparecon sa LB.. 0.001. eh wala. edi wala. haha!

isa pa kasi sa nakakadepress isipin,yung Language proficiency Percentile ko, tumataginting na 30!!! pambihira talaga oo.. ganun ako ka talino..HAHA. sabi kasi nila relax eh. ayun. busyng-busy ako sa kakarelax..LOL.. tas pagtingin ko sa board 2mins nlng eh kalahati pa lang nasasagot ko.wah! hala, sige, shade nlng ng shade. right minus wrong pa man din..hahaha. pero feeling ko lang kasi(feeling lang ha.haha), kung inayos ko lang ng konting-konti yung Langguage ko, baka sakaling nakaabot pa 'ko sa cut-off ng LB(maganda pa mn dn don)..

lungkot ng life story ko noh?tsk3. "if i could only go back in time" ang drama ko.haha.. pero yun na yun eh. bobo lang talaga siguro ako para sa up. sabi ko na lang para maging optimitsic image ko, baka ayaw nang dagdagan ni God paghihirap ko. tama na yung hirap sa pagiging specla sa comprehensive public high school..

pero eto, tinatamad na 'kong pumili ng school. admu kaya?-wala akong pera.hahaha!!asa.. pero seryoso, kahit na anung school na lang isuggest nila dito papayag na 'ko. kahit na anung course na rin basta wag nursing.. haha!.

wah! eto pa pala depressing story. nalala ko lang speaking of course. kung tinanggap ko na lang sana yung geology dti. full scholarship pa sana yon. up dw o adamson. eh di ko tinanggap. disappointed si papa. kung ano kasi gusto ko 'yon ginagawa ko. tas parang di kasi kapanipaniwalang makakapasok ako sa upd non. baka sa adamson ako mapunta. at wala akong interest sa bato. may trabaho na rw kaagad pagkagraduate eh. parang naboboringan ako pag ganon. tsaka, baka bumagsak pa 'ko. haha!! mas nakakahiya yon.. kaya andito ako ngayon. di pa nakakapagpaenroll. naghihintay na lang kung saang school nila ako ipapasok. bahala na.. haayyy buhaayy..

--ayun.. Birthday at Christmas wish ko?(bery adbans.hahaha!)-sana tumalino naman ako kahit papano. lampa na nga eh.anu pa silbi ko non?hahaha.

p.s. sa tipaklong na makakabasa, pasensya na kung kayo napagbalingan ko.hahaha!

Friday, May 2, 2008

still a secret society?

have you ever encountered a symbol that looks like this?:



it's a compass and a ruler with the letter G at tha center..the symbol of a 'secret society formed several decades ago..

because of my obsession to Dan Brown's books,i read about the Da Vinci code and Angels and Demons too. both mentioned about a secret society-- the Knights Templar. and because of my childish curiosity, i've searched further about the said society and i've come up in reading a book called the Hiram Key..

to cut a very loooong story short, the Knights Templar (also known as the Priory of Sion), have found something that others say could destroy Christian faith and because of it, the Catholic Church,as said in the book, burnt them at stake at Friday the 13th of October(it started the belief that the said date is an unfortunate day).. still, some have survived. many believe that Freemasonry was a product of the Knights Templar,even the Freemasons themselves..

*according to the book(the Hiram Key), Freemasons believe that there were actually two Jesus.the kingly one(who all Christians know as Jesus Christ. the other one is the priestly one(who we all know as John the Baptist)..the star of david symbolizes it..

---to be continued(aalis daw kmi e.haha)---

Thursday, May 1, 2008

mag-exercise tayo tuwing...hapon..?

meron bang matatawag na unbloggable??haha!.. baka mga posts ko na yon.. okay lang. basta nakapagsulat ako sa'yo blog..hehe


yes! nakakita na 'ko ng solusyon para di lumobo habang wala pang pasok/pinagkakaabalahan.. hehe.

nagjojog kmi tska nagbabadminton sa hapon every other day. iniikot nmn sunken garden. hehe. kasama ko ate ko(hndi biological.by heart.haha!).
tinatanong dito sa bahay bakit daw sa diliman pa 'ko mag-eexercise eh anlapit lang ng sports center dito. may court pa. gusto kong sagutin;"pipigilan niyo pa po ba ako kahit sa pag-eexercise na lang sa dream school ko?hindi na nga pumasa yung tao eh"...hahaha! pathetic. joke lang.(half meant.LOL!).yung totoo,. sarap kasi kaya ng hangin don.hehe. makakalimutan mong nasa city ka. makakawala ka sa init,alikabok,ingay, at higit sa lahat polusyon dulot ng napakaraming tao sa siyudad. at isa pa, masyadong unfair na kay ate kung dito lang kami maglalaro. siya nga galing pang manila eh.hehe. ako galing lang marikina..

minsan nga lang tinatanong ko kung pinapawisan ba 'ko dahil sa laro o dahil sa kakapulot..lol! kada lumanding ba naman ang shuttlecock, she would either give me that antagonistic look(haha) or turn her back and pretend she's exercising.grr! tapos sasabihin ko madaya siya. sasabihin niya mas matanda siya sa'kin. o kaya magjajack en poy kami.haha! yung mama nga kanina pinulot na lang yung shuttle cock habang nagjajack en poy kami. naawa siguro sa'min.haha!!

si ate krizza. isa siya sa mga dahilan kung bakit na-enjoy ko na rin stay ko dito sa metro. siya nagturo sa 'king sumakay ng LRT.HAHA. dinala niya ako sa 168. at kung saan-saan pa sa maynila. nagtatravel siya ng humigit-kumulang isang oras para lang makagala kami. hehe. siguro kung wala siya, gugustihin ko na talagang umuwi ng bonggang-bongga. hehe. buti na lang andito siya.
siguro nagustuhan niya lang akong samahan kasi high school friend niya 'ko. ilonggo kami.haha. pero okay lang.. basta andiyan siya.. haha. kumokorni na ata. tama na..haha
huling hirit.hehe. nagpapasalamat ako kay God dahil kahit 'di Niya 'ko binigyan ng biological sister, binigay niya naman si ate krizza.. oha.oha..hahaha! exposure na 'to ate ha..heehee.. libre ko ha..haha